Harry Potter and Petunia Dursley
by yellow sparks
Summary: CHAPTER 4 IS UP! YAY!!!! What will happen when Aunt Petunia teaches Defense Against the Dark Arts? Year 6. Pleas R&R.
1. A New Teacher

A New Teacher  
  
Summer had just begun and Harry sat on the porch of Number 4 Privet Drive. Unlike most summers, he had a good outlook on life. Ever since the Order talked to the Dursleys things seemed to be going all right. He could still see the look on his Uncles face when Mad Eye revealed his magic eye. Unfortunately, his friends seemed to have forgotten him as usual. But tomorrow was his birthday, maybe he'd get post then?  
  
  
  
No sooner had the thought crossed his mind did 2 owls cross his path. As if that wasn't enough, they all headed for his bedroom window. Harry had to see what was up, so he sped toward his room. His heart beating like mad in his chest, he opened his door and was shocked to see Pig sipping water with Hedwig. No sooner had he seen him, Harry ripped the letter of Pig's leg sending the owl into a frenzy.   
  
Harry,  
  
Hope your summer's great. Mine's okay, Mum's still crying over Percy and Dad's discovering the use of a washing machine. He's trying to make it talk, but it just keeps spraying water everywhere. Anyway, Fred and George are doing a wicked job on their joke shop. They're doing so well that they've bought themselves each a Nimbus 3000. It's top of the line. It's got two seats and a luggage compartment. You know what that means, right? Just be at your window around 11 o'clock tonight. See you, mate!  
  
Your friend,  
  
Ron  
  
With a grin from ear to ear, Harry went to the other owl and took the parcel of its leg. Who could it be from, he thought? He might as well open it, atleast it wasn't a howler. It read  
  
Dear Mrs. Petunia Dursley,   
  
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. You will need to make a list of books you would like your students to acquire. If you need help, send an owl no later than July 31st. Term begins on Septermber 1. We eagerly await your arrival.  
  
Yours Sincerely,  
  
Albus Dumbledore.  
  
Headmaster at Hogwarts.  
  
Harry couldn't believe his eyes. Why would Dumbledore want his Aunt to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts? She isn't even a witch! Or so he thought. With his mind racing, he gave the mysterious owl a treat and began scrambling for an empty piece of parchament.   
  
Ron,  
  
You won't believe this. I just got an owl from Dumbledore. Actually it was for my Aunt, but it says that she's going to be teaching Defense! Can you believe it? I think Dumbledore's gone off his rocker. Well I can't wait till tonight.   
  
-Harry 


	2. Dumbledore's Reply

Dumbledore's Reply  
  
Still dumfounded, Harry opened his door and headed to the kitchen to give the letter to its rightful owner, no matter how much he told himself not to. "I don't care what that ruddy headmaster told you, Harry doesn't have to stay here!" Bellowed Harry's Uncle from the kitchen. No even taking notice that he was there, Uncle Vernon continued to yell. "Um..excuse me. Aunt P-petunia? A letter came for you." With that, his Aunt snatched the post from Harry's hand.  
  
Mrs. Dursely read the letter over and over again, still unsure if she comprehended its contents. Was it true? Was she really supposed to be the new Defense teacher? But she wasn't even qualified! She had never been taught witchcraft! She still didn't believe it, but she proceeded to write back. "Give me your bloody owl and let me write a letter to that crackpot Headmaster of yours."  
  
  
  
Harry couldn't refuse, so he got Hedwig as fast as he could. He wanted to actually have dinner tonight. He got a piece of parchament and a quill and went to the kitchen. "Here you are Aunt Petunia," Harry hesitated. Still confused, Aunt Petunia wrote her letter to Professor Dumbledore.  
  
Professor Dumbledore-  
  
I think you've made a mistake in asking me to be the Defense Against the Dark Arts. I know nothing about magic and have no real desire to. I DON'T EVEN KNOW MAGIC! HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO TEACH IT TO BLOODY KIDS?1?!   
  
Never yours,  
  
Petunia Dursley.  
  
Mrs. Dursley had no intentions of revealing this to Mrs. Dursley, she didn't know how he'd react. She'd just like to see Dumbledore's letter. He probably wouldn't even write back, she thought. Probably to appalled to say anything to her. And she liked it that way.  
  
Harry was still confused about the whole situation, but could think of nothing but 11 o'clock tonight and what Ron had in store for him. He'd do anything to get out of this prison. He'd definitely be gone before Dumbledore even had a chance to reply. Or at least he thought he would.   
  
  
  
Harry then retreated back to his lonely room, basking in the loneliness with his school trunk. He gazed at Hedwig's empty cage and his stomach sank. What if she wasn't back before he left for Rons? Before he had time to think about the subject any further, Hedwig came hooting back into the window with a letter attached to her leg. Probably the same letter that his Aunt had attached, he thought. Dumbledore was probably on a mission for the Order and didn't want to be bothered. Curious, he opened it up. To his amazement, it was a letter back from Dumbledore.   
  
Dear Mrs. Petunia Dursley,  
  
I realize that you haven't had any magical training, yet at this point you seem to be the only candidate for the job. All you have to do is come to the school early, and I will teach you everything you need to know. Although I'm sorry to say on such short notice that you must come today. Bring Harry with you and go into your kitchen. Grasp your kitchen faucet and you will be transported to my office at Hogwarts. See you soon!   
  
Sincerely Yours,  
  
Dumbledore 


	3. Aunt Petunia's Training

Aunt Petunia's Training  
  
At this point, Petunia felt she just had to tell her husband. How, she didn't know. She figured she'd stall for a while, but no sooner had she gotten the letter he arrived. "Petunia, what have you got there?" he said. "Oh nothing dear, it's nothing," she said. Naturally, Vernon didn't buy it and started to read the letter. "WHAT?!?! What is this, Petunia? There's no way you're teaching at that crackpot school with his people. What are you going to do about this?" "Well honey, I thought I'd try it out. At least now I'll be better than my stupid sister. She can't say she's the only witch in the family. And Lily was never a teacher, was she? NO! She wasn't, and I'm determined to top her, you watch!! Trying her hardest to be nice to Harry, she told him to tell her what to do in the kitchen. "H-H-harry dear? Uh- Dumbledore told me to take you and go to the kitchen faucet. He said it would…….take us to his office? I don't get it."   
  
Harry's heart raced at the thought of leaving the Dursley's early. He would finally be free of his family's clutches. But wait, wasn't Ron supposed to come and get him at 11? He had to tell his Aunt that he couldn't go…No, she wouldn't buy it, he thought. Well, it was worth a try.  
  
"Uh-Aunt Petunia? I can't go with you to Hogwarts. I've got-er…I've got to clean out Dudley's room. He said he'd pound me if I didn't," Harry pleaded. "Oh what a good boy, my Duddykins is. Learned that from his father, don't you know. Well I guess you can stay as long as you do extra chores," his Aunt echoed. "So how do I get to Dum-Dimbledore's office? I just grab onto the faucet?" "Uh, yeah. That's it," Harry said.   
  
And with that, Harry raced up to his room while his Aunt Petunia slowly reached for the faucet. She was sent in a swirl along with her stomach. She felt as if she had just plummeted off a cliff. In seconds she was surrounded by tall bookcases and many foreign objects. This must be it, she thought. No sooner had the thought crossed her mind, did an old man with a long white beard appear. Dumbledore, she suspected. "Ah, I see you have arrived. And where is Harry, might I ask?" he said. "Um….he…he had to uh….he's sick right now. But he'll be here in the fall."  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Well anyway, back to business. I have appointed you the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. I am aware that you have little or no skill in the witchcraft area, so I am here to teach you. This may be tedious, so you will have to be patient. We'll start with the basics. I have gone to Ollivander's and bought you a wand, compliments of Hogwarts. Now do a swish and a flick movement with your wrist," he said.  
  
Petunia jerked her hand upwards and made a rude pointing gesture with her hand, sending sparks to the ceiling. "Watch it Pew-tunia, we may be dead, but we still have feelings," echoed a group of ghosts. "Out Peeves!" Dumbledore yelled. "Now where were we? Ah, yes, the swish and flick. Try to be a little more graceful with the movement." Petunia continued to try but nothing amounted from her practice. "This may take a while, Mrs. Dursley," Dubledore calmly said. "But we have time, not to worry." 


	4. Harry's Escape

Harry's Escape  
  
While Petunia continued to try to master the 'Swish and Flick' movement, Harry had more pressing items to deal with. How was he going to get out of the house without his Uncle or Dudley noticing? He figured Ron had probably had that all figured out by now. Harry was elated at the thought of going to Ron's house. If things went as planned, Hermione was probably already there cuddled up with Crookshanks and reading up on her Arithmacy.   
  
It was 10 o'clock. Just one more hour, and he'd finally be free. Harry reached for his books scattered on the floor and shoved them in his trunk. He pulled out a piece of cake from the floorboards that he had stolen from Dudley's birthday party. After all, this was probably going to be his only meal today aside from breakfast. Uncle Vernon certainly wasn't going to feed him after the news about Aunt Petunia. This was going to be awful having his Aunt teaching Defense. When he was at Hogwarts, it was finally a reprieve from his 'family.' He often wondered if he was even related to them.  
  
By the time the thought had crossed his mind, the clock read 10:59. Time seemed to slip by, he couldn't wait to get out. He watched every second tick by until it struck 11. Right on the dot, he saw Fred and George out the corner of his eye. With that, he ran towards the window to see Ron on George's new Nimbus 3000. "Hiya, Harry! C'mon, jump in!" Ron said. "So what do you think of the new brooms? Pretty wicked, huh?" Fred echoed. "The joke shop's booming."  
  
Harry quickly reached for his trunk and lifted it out the window towards Fred. "I can't wait to see what you two have cooked up this time….Actually, I'm afraid to ask. Just get me out of here," Harry said. 


End file.
